Hey hun

I totally get where you are coming from with this. Peoples perceptions of me and my own perception of myself has weighed heavy on my heart and mind all my life. Only through my therapy now am i learning that o matter others think of me I can never change the way they act or feel I can only cntrol my own thoughts and feelings.

I understand the wanting to run away and start life a new where nobody knows you but if you go you just end up still being you just in a different place. The way Ive found to deal with it is to go through my emotions and deal with them,process them, grieve or accept them. They still linger for days after because nothing is fixed over night.

YOU SHOULD NEVER FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING THE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS THAT YOU DO. We are all human we all go through the ups and downs and sadly the downs are something we have to go through to grow and become strong.

Damn i'm reading this to myself and still cant believe I'm saying these words I was in such a bad place just 6 weeks ago but i know there is light i know it gets better, I am always here for you hun nt just on BM hit me up on facebook or even on skype and we can chat face to face

I love you and am always here for you xoxo

I think it is natural to think about what other people think of us, what we do or say, how we choose to live our lives. It's instilled in us from school, when we are told that there are certain ways to act or appropriate ways to behave. I'm not saying we should all go around creating havoc, but I believe that as we grow we need to find our own voice and not be afraid to use it. Your mind is the only one you have to spend your entire life with, so why cause it grief by doing things for other people.

If you really want to move away, then do it, but do it for the right reasons and go with a purpose. Know what it is about your current life you want to change and make an effort to be that change, be strong. Or there is nothing to say you can't do that exactly where you are right now. A change of scenery won't automatically make things better if you don't put the effort in to be the change you want to see.  Only you know in your heart what feel right, listen to your gut instinct, 9 times out of 10 it's right, and even if it's not, you know you did what you did for the right reasons.

Keep smiling :) Lotsa love

There are somethings in life that we can control like trying to be a better person and not letting negative thoughts get you down. Your not stupid and theres nothing wrong with thinking about where you are and where you want to be.  That's good as some people go through life not knowing where their going. And that is just a waste.  Don't think your alone as there's more people think the way you do and wonder what their purpose in life is. 

The next time you feel these negative thoughts slowly creeping in try write them down, talk to someone who you can trust,  listen to music that lifts you up and sing to it, go for a walk or some other physical activiate.  There are two ways you can do this and thats go with it and let the thoughts pass or do something to take your mind off them.  Don't think running away will help as that will only cause you more problems.  Your a good guy always remember that my blu-ray friend :)