Blog Entry
I'm a Lover of Life.
Written by Sandra on March 11, 2010
Actually, I don’t quite know what to write in this blog and also, I don’t think I know what message I want to convey... That’ll probably come about all by itself while writing.
However, I’ll start off by simply saying that I’m a hopeless lover of life.
I know that the comparison of life to a roller coaster has gotten kind of old by now, though, after all, it’s still the best fitting one. There are ups and downs, then you go to the left and in the next moment you’re heading to the right, some times you’ll be upside down and at some times things seem to slow down or accelerate tremendously. – Sadly, we mostly only realize how great it was when it’s over and when our cart is gradually coming to a halt again. Hardly anyone sees the greatness during the ride, cause some parts scare them or make them feel sick.
We all probably know that riding a roller coaster is much more fun if you put your hands up in the air and scream exaggeratedly, so, I’m doing the same with life. I hold my hands out, full of enthusiasm and excitement, being thrilled by everything that comes along. I try to make the best out of this ride, cause in the end everyone’s got the same feeling: that it was over way too soon and that it all went way too fast.
Recently, destiny’s been hitting me with nothing more efficient than something called reality. All in all, the year 2009 was downright my worst so far:I fell in love for the first time (at least I like to think so) and lost that very love again almost as fast as it had begun. I kind of blew my final year at school. I was deceived by one of my “best friends”. I got kicked out by my English host family. And then I finished the year with an appendicitis and thrombosis, which had almost taken my life.
When 2010 started I only had one thought replaying in my head: That things can only get better. And, indeed, it does get better. All the bad happenings I experienced brought along lessons, of course, and I managed to learn them all. I learned to cherish the wonderful moments in which I felt love and also, not to rush myself with finding the one, cause I know he’ll cross my path when it’s time for us to meet. I finally saw the beauty of being able to learn something and now I try to fill myself up with the knowledge of things I used to not know about (I started to learn French and sign language, for instance). I realized who of my friends entered my world to truly stick around and who was there just temporarily. Now I’m rather happy that I had to leave England so soon, cause I wouldn’t have been able to send in my application for an apprenticeship (in Germany) if I had still been there (and btw, I was actually chosen to do the apprenticeship!). And, last but not least, I was shown unmistakably, how important my own health is, so I drink about five times as much as I used to before and I’ll start to exercise more as soon as my doctor gives me the permission to do so.
To make it short and conclude it all : Things happen for a reason, even though there seems to be no light at the end of the dark and endless tunnel you’re in at the moment.
I don’t know what life’s got in store for me, but that’s okay, cause I’ll find out soon enough. I remember a part of Paulo Coelho’s book The Alchemist, which went something like : you don’t need to know your future, cause the good happenings will be a pleasant surprise and knowing all the bad ones will only make you suffer greatly even before it’s actually happened.
Also, I need to mention it here as well: Your way of thinking really does have a huge impact on your life! By accustoming myself to a basically optimistic attitude I found that my life’s gone a lot easier than before. I started to completely control my thoughts only a few months ago (while I was in the hospital) and mastered things that wouldn’t have gone so smooth with a pessimistic attitude. I kind of had to learn to walk again, which, the doctors said, would take me at least one month, including the help of a trained physiotherapist... – however, it took me two weeks.
Then I continued with that positive mindset when I sent in my application, and also throughout the whole process of having an interview and waiting for the answer to come. My mom advised me to apply to other hospitals as well, just to make sure I had at least one positive answer in the end, and especially cause they only choose 60 people for something that hundreds had applied for. I told her not to worry, cause in my head I already had it in my pocket.. I’ve told myself over and over again that I already have that one spot from those 60 free ones; I’ve told it to myself every single day. And now I was chosen, even though my report card wasn’t one of the best for sure and I don’t have any qualifications (like previous internships in a hospital) to offer.
All I want is for everyone to understand that you are the painter of your masterpiece, which is entitled “life”. No one else but you will put their signature on that painting in the end.
You’ve got a certain purpose in life and eventually you’ll always achieve it, cause the path that you’re walking on only leads to that one destination. No matter what happens, there is no way around your own purpose; that’s what I’ve come to truly understand. And I think that being a nurse is one of the first steps I need to take towards my purpose. I'm keen to make the world a better place than it is now and I can't wait for the future to come!
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Estrella82 said on March 16, 2010:
Sandra yet again I'm speechless byh your blog, seriously you write sooooooooo beautifully, you use English better than I do! Haha. I can't really add to this right now as I am simply enjoying taking in your words, but thank you for sharing so much positivity. It's set me out on today with a happy face and optimistic mind set. Thank you! xxx
KimberlyWyatt said on March 14, 2010:
YOU GET IT!!!! yaaaaay.....It's so simple yet SO POWERFUL!!!! all my love to you! xoxo
xtina said on March 12, 2010:
As you already know, I'm really rereading all your blogs and i've just finished "When Destiny Calls". The first time I read it, I was sad because things like that are not supposed to happen to good people like you. Anyway, today I read it again (and again) and I got tears flowing down my cheeks, thinking again about what if things went worse? you wouldn't be here right now, accompanying me on that boat :P (the boat we were talking about). You wouldn't have been the one I thought could complete me in a way.
I remember the month before you wrote that blog, I was worried. Sandra not seen on dipdive for more than a week. What happened to her? Is she taking a break to figure out things in her life? Did she leave dipdive without letting anyone know?...We weren't very close at that time, yet deep inside of me I felt something was wrong. Then you came back with that sad blog (When destiny calls), yet an extremely positive one. A blog which truly showed even more your strength. A blog which taught you lessons but also to those who read it. What I learned from it is that we attract things from the universe, things based on our thoughts. I learned that our health is important (that i should drink more!!). And more importantly that each person in our life, whether close or not, means something. We might not realize it because I always say that when we want something and we get it, we don't want it anymore, or when we have something we usually take it for granted.
This blog (I'm a lover of life), while I was re-re-re-reading it, i felt that it was more like a summary of your previous blogs and what you've been through, yet you came out with great messages. I remember when you wrote the blogs "When an old journey ends, a new one finds its beginnings" & "Lost", I told you about taking steps by steps in life and I compared someone to a sprint runner. A runner requires training, lots of training actually. When it's time for him/her to run for a competition, anything can happen. He can get a cramp and make him automatically lose the competition. If he runs at the pace he was taught, his efforts will pay off. If he runs over his pace, he can stumble and force his body to do something for which he's not ready, there again increasing the chance of making him lose. Losing is not really a good word though - because in life we have nothing to lose but everything to gain right? We all have other opportunities which will come our way in the future and it's our job to seize them. you've shown that you didn't lose anything, but gained more knowledge and wisdom! you've shown that things happen for a reason. You've shown that we must not give up.
Since you wrote a kind of summary of your previous blogs, I kind of wrote a summary of my previous comments ha. But ultimately, what I really want to tell you right now is that i am SO PROUD of you and you know that you should be proud of yourself as well. We don't always learn lessons from other people's experiences, but i feel that i did from yours. You taught me so many things.
CONGRATULATIONS once again for getting the apprenticeship! :D
You were like the spark that lit a huge fire of inspiration and "enlightenment" in my life. And I already told you that I'm SO GRATEFUL to have you in my life. If I could, I'd tell it to you everyday but it might lose its meaning and get boring. - I didn't dare making you cry right there eh! ;) ha
Talking about love, we both know that our time will come to meet "the one". If he left, maybe it's because someone much better is about to come and at that point, you'll both be ready to share that strong feeling, called love. But in the mean time, "we're all in this together!" lol. Anyway, we already talked about it and i know that you know about this whole thing.
The one meant for you will definitely be the luckiest guy to have someone like you in his life.
You're like a precious stone. Not everyone has found you yet. Some did, but they didn't see how worth you are. On the other side, I found you and I know for sure how precious you are! I am lucky. Another thing that's for sure is that you're definitely one of the people who will stay in my soul/heart for the rest of my life.
You're a lover of life. Your love is spreading and contagious. You make people see the unseen!
THANK YOU!
kaTh-kaTh said on March 12, 2010:
WOW! blooooog! haha. i like it :) i like the rollercoaster thing. I like coz it really has a connection with life :)
Like, before you ride the rollercoaster, you have to wait in the line...just like in life,you have to wait for your turn.
Um...When you finished riding rollercoaster,you will feel great and proud in yourself 'coz you've rode one of the most extreme ride...just like in life,when you have done something you will feel free, happy and will say "YES! I DID IT!"
And you want to do it again,you want to ride the rollercoaster again but unfortunately you have to wait in the line again for the others turn...like in reality,when you've done something,you want to do it again and again but you must give chance to others. :)
Rollercoaster,what a great example of life :) love it! :) && i love you Sandra! hope your blood levels are fine :) God bless :)
-->kath2x :) :*
sarahlouxx said on March 11, 2010:
Wow, Thank you for writing this blog, It has come at the right time for me... And after reading this I can see things clearer... well done to you, for not allowing those situtaions to get the better of you, you are a very strong person and for that you will go very far :-) Lovely written... And yes things happen for a reason wheather we like it or not.. Big smiles to you hun :-)
Love S xx
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Sandra
Sandra is a girl who is 21 that lives in Germany. She joined Dipdive on June 1, 2009. The last time she logged in was on May 10, 2012.
Awwww, Sandra you how always right!!!:)
We ourselves are doing our lives. All obstacles that occur in our lives, created what would make us stronger and that would be a positive experience we have learned from that and reconsider our views on everything that surrounds us and of course to life! Ie we need it to change something. I recently thought that many of our friends of our family have experienced problems like health: you, Xtina, Luisa, Aoife and others, I lost my grandfather, and I thought maybe this is specifically sent to test us, that would be something we something changed in our lives...I do not know, perhaps it is just a coincidence...but I do not think so.
I want to say that this is only reason that would do and change our lives for the better. We live now, and someone does not know what will happen next life or eternal darkness...we need to use this chance that we have, appreciate it and do everything to please their loved ones and get pleasure from Life!:)
I love you!<3