I'm restless.

Written by Sandra on May 4, 2012

I’m restless. In every way there is.

I’ve been wandering around this world in order to find that one place that I’d be able to call “home”. And along the way I’ve also been looking for that one person that would make me want to settle down, that one person that would ease my mind and finally put it at rest. You know, I find it extremely tiring and exhausting to be such a restless soul, but I just feel as if it's the only thing I can do; the only thing I have to do in order to find the answers I've been wanting to find for so long.

I’ve been to green places with meadows as lush as you can only imagine, with trees as high as skyscrapers, and fields of rape that seemed just as if they were kissed by the sun. I’ve seen old, unique buildings that seemed so vulnerable that I thought they were going to collapse just by breathing out too hard, and new ones that were built because the city had changed and they needed new buildings to reflect the city’s new character. I’ve seen golden beaches; oceans that sparkled as if there were a million little diamonds trapped beneath the surface and waves that were trying to touch the sky. I’ve seen people sitting on the dirty ground asking for just a couple of cents, struggling to make it through to the next day, and then again, I’ve seen people possessing everything this world has to offer, except for one simple thing called happiness; people of all kinds and nationalities that were all looking for their very own purpose and answers. I’ve seen places covered with so much snow that you got stuck to your thighs when walking outside, places so white that it was almost blinding.

I’ve been wandering to find out what I really want from life, and what I want to serve the world with. See, everybody’s got certain talents or traits they can influence people with, even if it’s just every other person in their neighborhood. And I’d always found it hard to see what I could do to make this world, or at least my surroundings, a better place.

I’m currently stuck in a city I don’t like with a job that’s not fulfilling me as much as I hoped it would when I started working. But that’s okay, I guess, because I get to help people in my job and I feel as if I was meant to get that job with the people that work with me. It had to be. But it’s not forever, cause I know that I’ll continue wandering. And I won’t stop once until I’ve found the right pace for me to finally allow myself to settle, with a person that actually makes settling feel alright.

I’ve kind of been waiting with packed bags all my life, ready to get out of here, with my pockets full of dreams that are hoping to be tackled soon.