Sandra, i understand you! At me the same feeling! I love the house, relatives, but too something does not suffice me. I dream to travel! I too love the country, but the life most part, i wish to spend in other countries. Gets acquainted with new people, cultures and I am possible there I will find myself! I look at some people, they know that want. Whom wish to become, them pulls to it and they wish to be engaged in all life the favourite business, but i do not have such... I cannot precisely tell, as whom i wish to work... I feel that here in the future I will not be happy. The life is given us once, and I wish to live how I want!

I am happy for you! You correctly do. Even if it will not be pleasant to you in England. And you will understand that it not yours, you will correctly make! It is not necessary to search easy ways, it is necessary to construct an own life as we want it. Even if it will be difficult for making. I hope that in England you will fill an empty part of the soul. All my love to you! :)

This is amazing, you are so brave to be doing what you are.  It takes far more courage and awareness to realise that you are not happy where you are and actually do something and take action.  It is so easy to 'accept' things in life that make us unhappy, just because we are either too scared, or lazy to take a leap of faith in order to make a happier you.  Life is what we make of it, I totally understand how scared you must feel but like you say, it is only fear of the unknown, not fear of something bad. It would be so tempting to back out because you are worried you might not fit in, but then all you would say forever is what if?  We really do only regret the opportunities we don't take. Isn't it better to have tried than to never know? Maybe you dont know what your passion is now, like your sister does, but sometimes the best things arent the easiest to find, and you just need to go looking a little! Afterall, you are not alone, there are lots of the BM family over here in the UK and you knwo if you ever need a helping hand we are here! Good luck, I can't wait to hear how you get on when you come over! Much love xxx

I know exaclty what u mean. I know for certain that I don't feel at home in my home. But maybe it's because i don't really have a home...I've been moving around back and forth from my mom and dad, and even with my uncle for one year, since I was in middle school. Everything just seems so monotonuous here. The only reason I stay is to help my mom, and for my little brother, he's 3 and I don't want to miss him growning up. But I can't wait for the day when my true journey finally starts, or maybe this is part of my true journey the beginning of it...but it sure don't seem like it. Right now I'm only hanging on to one string of hope, and I pray that it doesn't break. Because I believe that it is my path that I am suppose to take, but that's happend to me before, and I always have to find a new path. I hope you find what you are looking for, that missing passion. It's hard when to be patient when something great is awaiting :)

~*Lots of Love Always and Forever*~

                Raquel Moriah

i want to tell u sweetie.., that i'll be ur friend forever and be able always in ur side :)))

Hey Sandra,

du sprichst mir auch echt aus der seele. ich glaub,ich hatte dir ja geagat,dass ich auch ganz gerne hier weg wollen würde und einfach am liebsten mit dir nach england gehen würde..

Ich hab hier zwar auch alles. aber das ist es ja gerade,glaub ich. hier ist immer alles gleich. ich kenne die umgebung,ich kenn praktisch alle leute hier und alles ist wie es immer war.

Ich würde gerne nach Australien.deshalb übereg ich auch,in der 11 ein halbes Jahr dahin zu gehen. Mal etwas ganz anderes. das wird zwar irre teuer,aber es ist eine ganz andere welt. Ein komplett neues Land,andere natur,andere menschen,andere sitten&kulur,das schulsystem ist anders. Australien ist ja auch ziemlich weit weg im gegensatz zu england. Aber genau das finde ich so aufregend. Wer weiß,ob ich jemals wieder die chance haben werde,nach australien zu kommen.wenn nicht jetzt,wann dann?Es kann immer etwas passieren,sodass man eingeschränkt ist..

Andererseit hab ich bedenken wegen der schule.eigentlich möchste ich eienn möglichst guten abschluss haben,um einen vernünftigen job zu bekommen später.

Aber ins Ausland gehen lohnt sich immer,wie du schon sagtest. Auch wenn es nicht so wird,wie du es dir erhofft hast,du musst es erfahren haben.Praktisch ganz allein auf sich gestellt,man kennt keinen wirklich,alles neue erfahrungen die einen verändern werden.Man lernt das leben ganz anders zu betrachten,denke ich.

Ich bin echt stolz auf dich,dass du dich diesen sehr großen schritt wagst und ein neues leben beginnst,indem du alles zurück lässt,was dir etwas bedeutet(oder auch nicht) und neu wo anders anfängst.ich hoff,dass ich auch diesen Mut haben werde,und mir so eine chance nicht entgehen lasse,wegen zu vielen gedanken oder so..Dafür braucht man echt Mut.Aber du hast ja dein ganzes Leben noch vor dir und da ist es sinnvoll etwas neues auszuprobieren.Denn wie auch du bin ich nicht der mensch,der es gerne so wie immer hat und nicht gerne neues ausprobiert (ok,was das essen angeht,bin ich da doch eher der typ ;) )Im Enteffekt werden es doch überwiegend gute erinnerungen sein,denn selbst die schlechten werden sich irgendwann als hilfreich und gut erweisen und meistens überragen die guten eh die schlechten.Ich bin mir sehr sicher,dass du deinen neuen Lebensabschinnt England farbelhaft meistern wirst,auch wenn's Anfangs wohlmöglich ungewohnt und unwohl sein wird.

Ich kann's kaum erwarten,bis du endlich weg bist ( :D ) und gut&sicher in england angekommen bist und erste erfahrungen,geschichten,erlebnisse und gefühle erzählst :)Hahha,ich freu mich gerad  total für dich und bin seeeehr aufgeregt,wie das wohl sein wird :)Ich hoffe,dass ich bald das gleiche sagen kann,wie du ;)

Alles Gute für England!! I'm thinking of you :)

Omg you echoed my thoughts exactly. I don't hate my life and I like where I am, the people I'm with. But I feel like there's something in America that's calling me. Like I have to be there. Like I need to be there. And recently I've felt like I have to go or I might die because if I stay I will drown. I totally know what you mean when you say you need change. God I want something different so bad and going to a new place will be like a different adventure everyday! And what you said in the very last line is so true. Sometimes we just have to see for ourselves what will happen if we just try. Just go for it if you believe it may work. And I really really do think you will do well in England. Any problems you face will only make you stronger, I'm sure of it. You strike me as a resourceful & innovative person. I have faith in you.

Ok, you've convinced me. As soon as I get the chance I'm moving. Guess I'll have to work jobs this summer to start saving up. That was inspirational :)

hope you find that missing something, enjoy your journey to England.  stepping out of your comfort zone and heading off to the known is a bold move, it takes courage.  all the best.

Sandra, you are such a great writer!!! your blogs are always inspiring and full of honesty, full of what your heart has to say!

I honestly feel like that almost every single day. I have my family here, which is the most important thing. But back in my country, i was feeling complete.When i started a new life in canada, many things changed. There was the communication problem because of my accent and i couldnt make friends as easily as i could just because i was scared of people who would make fun of me. But you know, i'm sure people will understand your accent and respect you for who you are.

You have much courage to do that, girl :) Many people are real cowards and would continue living their life the way it is, scared for change. Change is always scary because we don't know what to expect. But in the end, everything will be worth the change. Change helps us grow as individuals. Change makes us explore what is unknown to us. I mean, how awesome is that! To be keen to learn and grow more and more. Proud of you sandra. You're a great example of what many people want to be.

About dancing, i feel exactly the same! When i watch those dance shows, i really feel that something's missing in my life. I've always wanted to dance, but i've never been given the opportunity to go to any dance class.

All i can wish you is even more strength and courage :)

"When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way." - Coelho

Hello Sandra, well I don't know if you are christian or if you believe in God, but I think that the missing thing there in your heart might be God, and not because he has forgotten about you, no, he is right there just waiting for you to see him and open up so he can show you his love and shelter. Believe me, wherever you are, in Germany, England, Mexico, Egypt or China, if you dont have God you don't have nothing. And viceversa, if you have God in your heart it doesnt matters if you sleep under a bridge or under the rain, you will be full and happy. That has happened to me a lot of times and I still go back to God because he is always the missing thing in my heart.

If you really want to make a big change in your life, then do it! adventure its great, but remember that it is your life, you can't create another one. So make that life that God gave to you great! and include God in it.

You know, there is a phrase I dont remmeber who from but it says something like:

It doesnt worth reach the top of the mountain if you didn't have fun climbing it.

Sandra, the happines you find it in the way to your destiny! So be happy! Let your problems inside the what-God-will-solve box and have faith in him. Swim in his deepest ocean and sleep in his smoothest cloud.

I hope my reply could help you =).

Oh and nice to meet you plz call me Alex. ^.^

Know how you feel. Don't call where i stay home to me it's just a house where i stay with my family. I dream that i will win the lottery and just pack up and go. Get away from all the loud music, shoutting and dogs barking.  Sometimes i even think i'm in the wrong skin and that i should be someone else in another time.  But this is what i am and this is where i am, so id either better get off my butt and do something about it or just but up with it. So your doing something i can't do. You got up and got out and that takes some strength.   I think someone who say there happy with there life is either lying or has the money to change it.

And as for leaving family behind no, you have one already waiting for you in the UK.  US BRITS :). Just bring some warm waterproof clothes. because the weather is great if your a duck. QUACK QUACK.