2 years ago…RIP!!

Written by Stef on December 18, 2009

I can’t believe it was already 2 years ago, since my grandma passed away. It still feels like it was yesterday and I still and will always miss her so much cause she’s been a huge part of my life.

It was a normal Sunday morning. One like every other Sunday morning and no one could guess what was happening/happened. I was in my room studying for my English exam on Friday, listening to music and talking on msn. Suddenly the phone was ringing and I saw it was my grandpa who was calling. If he’s calling normally it’s something important because it’s cheaper for us to call him. I had that weird feeling that something had happened…I didn’t know what it was but I knew something wasn’t right. When my dad called my brother and me to come downstairs my “weird feeling” got even bigger. I def knew now that something was wrong.
When he told us that my grandma had died…it was like the world stood still for a second. I was so shocked by it and had about 1000 other feelings I couldn’t quite describe. It was not that we knew she would die so it was so unexpected.

My grandma was such a strong woman, she has always cared about everyone in her life and did everything for them. When I was 13 she had a stroke resulting in her whole left side being debilitated. Because she was lying in bed all day she had pain 24/7 not going away for a second.
I was so young back then not knowing HOW to handle what has happened. And hearing that the doctors said that “they would have let her die if she was 5 years older” didn’t help at all.
We weren’t in Austria for a whole year, basically because my parents thought my brother and I were too young to see her like that, too young to handle it. Not knowing how she was or just hearing how she was didn’t help at all in making us feel better. When we were there the first time I saw how bad she was doing how much pain she is in. But all I knew is that I have to be strong not for me but for my grandpa who needs all strength to take care of her every day. Every time we were in Austria visiting our family there I knew she was trying SO hard not to show my brother and me how bad she was doing, that she was in pain and that she doesn’t want us to see her like that.

Now being older, and going through all of it its better for her to be dead. As bad as this may sound the pain she was in was too much for her… I just believe she’s in a better place now.

The pain of missing her is never going to be totally gone. I will always miss her so much. But she will live on inside of me with all the amazing memories I have. <3

Now shortly before Christmas, it’s the time to tell your family how much you love them. I experienced on my own how fast life can be over, how fast it is changing and you might not have the chance to tell them tomorrow. Use today as a day to say “I love you” to all the people you care about and especially to your grandparents!!

RIP grandma <3