Death is an inevitable part of life...

Written by Stef on August 29, 2009

Death is an inevitable part of life. It’s part of the cycle of life but someone is never really prepared for losing a loved one. Even if someone you love is terminally ill, you will never understand the reality of their death until they died.

When a loved one is dying you don’t really know how to react to it. But how can you fully carry on with your life and adjust to this incredible loss?
The world we knew changed drastically and you feel the absence of that person as a deep hole in your heart.
Everyone handles feeling the pain differently so there are different ways of behaving after loosing someone.

Allowing yourself time to grieve

Grieving is a process, just like many other things as well, and it requires time.You should definitely allow yourself to grieve and to embrace it. You will feel many emotions in that time: anger, hopelessness, self-pity, guilt and depression. You also may lose the will to live.

But you have to understand what you’re going through is normal. It happens to everyone who happens to lose a loved one in their lives.

It also helps to set a specific time for grieving. It can be a year, half a year but no matter how long it is you have to give yourself the time for grieving.

While you will still feel your loss after this grieving period, having an end date in mind will you help you a lot. When you reached that date you have to try to get back into your normal life.

Stay busy

It is also important to stay as busy as possible when you want to overcome yourgrief. It might be hard sometimes but you may have to force yourself to do certain things. Getting around people and socializing and forcing out of home will help the healing process. Even if you dont feel like doing it you will feel better afterwards.

You don’t have to take huge steps if you don’t feel like doing it at all even the baby steps will help. Try to seek ways to soothe your aching soul. (e.g. music, reading, praying…)

Allow yourself to nurture your existing relationships

Always remember that your departed loved ones wouldn’t want you to sit at home all the time but to go on with your life and enjoy it. They would also encourage you to keep your current relationships but also to form new ones. They wouldnt want you to be sad and not enjoying life but they would want you to be happy and enjoy life to the fullest.

Be patient with yourself

In the process of healing there will be days when you feel like you mad progress with healing but also days when you feel like you made two steps back.

Be patient with yourself with this hardship. Have faith and believe that things will get better. You will always miss your loved one but you will also be able to feel love again.

After some time you will be able to enjoy life again. But always hang on to hope as this is the most important thing you can do.

After my grandma had a stroke she has been very ill for about 3 years. I always knew it would end in her dying sooner or later but when it happened it was a huge shock for me. I really didnt know how to react cause she has always been someone I looked up to and was very close with.
When I think about it I know it’s better for her in the end than having pain every second of the day but it’s still hard for me and the rest of my (her) family and friends.
Now after nearly two years have passed since my grandma died I still miss her so much. The little things mostly. This feeling will never really go away and Im sure I will always remember her and remember the fun times in my childhood I had with her but I learned as everyone else does that life goes on and that this is the normal cycle of life.
Losing her was the first time I have lost someone special in my life. Im so thankful for my friends being there for me and all those long talks and phone calls we had during that time. It made me realise how amazing life is and even do it was time for her to go Im sure shell watch over me from whereever she is now.

This is a poem I found online which basically inspired me to start writing this blog. Thought I'd share it with you ;-)

Losing someone you love

When we lose a loved one
A part of us dies also.

For as much as the one you loved
did not belong to you

your heart belonged to them.
You were entwined with one another.

You wonder,how shall I walk
in this world,a world that
no longer holds those footprints
of my loved one.

You will wonder
how can this world can go on

when your world has stopped.

In the language of tears

You will speak to your loved one
as your heart tries to comprehend
what it cannot.

But wait, the power of love
will give you comfort.

In the hearts of those who love you
and surround you with their caring hearts
love can be found.

Friends who have been in your place of sadness.
will be there for you now.

Your grief will become your traveling companion
the part of you that is strong deep, and compassionate.

Peace will come to you again
as you accept the mysteries
that are a part of life.

In time this veil of sorrow will lift
and you will realize what is most sacred
is the love we share with the ones we love.

Soon peace will come to your heart

and you will know that this love

is an eternal gift.