Who are you?

Written by Wah on July 26, 2009

Now I'll talk about something that troubles me since I'm small: the image that people have of me.

I have always been known as the 'smart' in the school. I was the 'shy', the 'correct'. In the beggining, it was not problem to me, cause I was studying in a small school, where were all my friends and were just kidding me. But this situation changed when I moved to a bigger school and there discovered that people would not be nice to me. There was the group of the strong and the group of the weak. And I was sure that I would always belong to the group of the weak.

Some years have passed while I watched the 'populars' surrounded by friends. The girls was so beautiful and the boys so coveted. I wanted more than anything to be one of them, but I just didn't have the 'profile'. My best and only friend at the time had, then she was slowly leaving me to become one of the 'populars'. I thought my life was over and spent much time feeling completely alone, until I met two people who rescued me.

The time was passing. Externally I was a safe and confident person, but inside I was always the same: a insecure girl, afraid of making mistakes and of looking ridiculous. Above all I was afraid of what people thought of me. I wanted to show my other qualities, but was stuck in a esterotype hard to be broken. No matter what happened: I would always be anonymous, ugly and not-funny.

It took a long time for me to learn the true solution to this. The solution was not trying to be someone I was not, just to get fit into a group. The solution was believe in me and in what I kept inside me.

After much crying and suffering, I started to be true to myself, respecting my opinion, my tastes, my feelings. Rather than ask me why I was so reject by some people, I opened the doors for other people come closer to me, and found in other people the link that allows me to join them. I started to look for a 'place' where there isn't punishments or judgments for I prefer read books than gossip about everything. And the most important lesson I took was that is not the people that have to shape us: we ourselves must choose who we want to be. And the key to that is inside us all. Ask yourself: "who am I?" and not "who the people want me to be?". Respect our own truth and essence is the secret. Trust in ourselves first and foremost is the secret.