Eight Poems About You That Have Nothing To Do WIth You

Written by YesikaStarr on July 20, 2010

1.

mami came home With a dream of a doll houseShe said we couldn’t play with

Stuck it above her dresserA trophy of a second hand toy

when she wasn’t homeWe brought it downFilled it with our one legged babiesChewed up Polly pocketsHappy meal surprises

Lost all the furniture Broke some of its windows

I imagine this is how I will love youWhen no one is watchingNot even you

2.

I have always been afraid that an earthquake would catch me in the nude. Or that I will die wearing the wrong pair of underwear. And there I would be …. The dead girl with a broken leg and stopped heart at an intersection. With a pair of granny panties worn to the thread.

What a shame.  This messy girl,

Awkward all the way to the end.

3.

I watched him the minute his heart stopped

His body gave a shudderAs if my name was about to come roaring through his lips

But nothing happenedJust another girlLeft without her fatherJust another dozen hollow questions Thumbing in the space Between ribcage and lungs

“ How does it feel to be dead Dad?Do you think I will like it when I get there?”

4.

I spent three yearsLiving a fake online personality

I was a tall thin brunette

Lonely and greedy then

Nothing mattered Not even a boy with translucent skinEarlobes like ivoryEyes like two pale moons

I let him fall in love while I was still pretendingLet him be the last to find out

Came to him thenSpeaking of foreversHands like starfishes left out to dry

He said it was too much for himI thought he meant my weightWas quick to condemn him

You see I will always be the victim and the villainMy right hand never tells the left how wrong she is.

5.

The only man I’ve ever slept with had switch blades for finger tipsAnd he made me his tree trunk Ive been walking around with his name carved into meAs if it were a scar I won in a hideous knife fight

6.

Nothing has anything to do with youI am sorry you will have to crack me open Like a coconut to pavementJust to expose the sweetest parts of me

You will sit with me when the questions arriveCall me when I’ve gone too longWill argue but never leave

Only women do this in my lifeMen are eternal wanderers

Tell me that you wont be

Tell me that nothingHas anything to do with me

Show me where they beat youHow your name was easily forgottenHow you hide your irrational fears

And I will show youWhat it is To stretch so wideYou become a homeWaiting to be taken down from a dresser

Go on baby,Make me your mansionLose my furnitureBreak all my windowsLet my right hand do the sinning for once

BecauseNo one is lookingNot even us

Go on and tell me thatThat is just how you like it.