Be strong enough to show your sorrow!

Written by soph on May 1, 2009

Moritz (2008)

I will never forget the day

When god took you away

I felt something was wrong

It was later when I understood that you were gone

The door bell rang

It felt like a pang

My mom came in

Tears running down her chin

She was screaming and crying

I was hoping she is lying

She said “your brother is dead”!

I was standing in front of her and couldn’t react

I was staring at the floor

And did not know what to do anymore

I had to move on

I decided for my mom to be strong

Months went by

And I was not ready to speak out a proper goodbye

Everyone had their chance

But I was too busy to hold our mom’s hands

Now it’s my time to let go

Although you left us years ago

I hope it’s not too late

It took me so long to accept the fate

I miss you that’s what I want you to know

Even though I wasn’t able to show

Dedicated to my little brother Moritz who was born on 8^th November 2005 and died on 18^th January 2006 (crib death). My mom wanted to pick him up from his nanny but it was too late. There were a few ambulances in front of her house and the worst part a few reporters and photographers were there as well trying to get a good shot. They were trying to get an interview with my mom and her husband and even followed my sister and me to school.

It took me a long time to show my feelings especially in front my mom. I thought I had to be strong and tough to make it easier for her, for everyone in my family. I tried to not think or talk about him. But I realised it was wrong.

There was that one day in the past I’ll always remember. I was crying in my room and my mom came in and asked me what is wrong with me. I looked at her and said: “I’m afraid to forget him. I’m afraid to forget how he looked and smelled and laughed”.

To be in mourning is a process everyone has to go trough. Yes, it is sad and tough and painful but not talking or thinking about the person you lost makes it even worse. I decided for myself that I never want to have this feeling of forgetting him again (above my tattoo with his initial on my left wrist).

"Behind the tears of sorrow lies the smile of memory”

On 10^th December 2008 my little brother OsKar was born. He is now 16 month old and I’m a very proud sister.