Lessons learnt

Written by zahd on August 15, 2009

I promised myself to be the bigger person, but today I faltered.

I have been keeping my act together for quite some time now, but today I could not be the composed one. I flipped out and lost my patience many times. And I apologise for my appalling behaviour, which was obviously subtle to many of you. Pardon the oxymoron.

Its really hard to keep pushing back all these negative emotions into a tiny obscure corner. Looking out of the car window and seeing my late grandparents’ house dark and empty on the weekends was really the limit. It didn’t help that the father was picking on every single thing I did.

Now that I have calmed down, I realised that there are so many lessons to be learnt. Just to list down the important ones:

1) Passing rumours about a person is the one thing that everyone should avoid. The repercussions on the victim is bad and its also not good for the culprit (because he is staying in hell longer than the rest of us).

2) One should learn how to respect everything about another person, including their backgrounds. Respect and trust are the basis of any relationship, especially friendships. If you cannot bring yourself to respect your friend’s background (inclusive of the people in it), then you do not deserve anyone’s trust.

3) Another thing about trust is that its not God-given right. You need to earn it, irregardless of who you are.

4) The people who exist in your life are there for a reason. If their existence is to show you what hatred is, then the ultimate lesson that you take away from them is how to let go of the hate. Buang yang keruh, ambil yang jernih.

With that being said, I got inspired by one of Jason Mraz’s blogs which mentioned about being a Beginner. Sometimes I feel like I’m turning more aloof and reticent in the past few months, and this is something which I am starting to dislike about myself. Life hardens me. I want to be more involved and start to look at things with wide-eyed amazement once again, like a small kid just discovering life. And the thing is that I've yet to discover everything Life has to offer. So "un-hardenizing myself" is my goal and I shall start working towards that.

(Okay this is totally out of place but I just realised that "un-hardenizing myself" sounds wrong. Ah heck lol)